Saturday, October 30, 2010
the journey continues
how i came to be ing here now... aspiring to be in service...to the Divine Lila
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
testimonial of the life i'm aspiring to live ~ devotional bhakti shakti ~
It's been a while since i wrote anything.. oh my goddess... the winds of change are flowing sweetly..looking back to my last post.. i realize the desire to serve living foods yoga and kirtan led me from bali, to nelson, to sunshine coast where we danced and created alchemy majik with chocolate and superfoods.. to salt spring where we dove into nature and played in the alchemy studio and with herbalists, farmers, and artists....where after i landed in Victoria with ocean by my side, yoga vibes.. Cafe Bliss family embracing me with open arms.. and i adore love, and miss them all.. all the kirtan friends.. the kirtan was majik.. My daughters went to thier dad's in Ontario for summer.. was so fun for them, and nice for me to focus on the many blessings in my own life.. Madhava Ananda joined me on a treck to Bhakti FEst.. and the kirtan was incredible.. the yoga vibes, community, living foods it opened my chakras.. super foods in the desert, meeting more enthusiasts..found myself playing with so many beautiful people sharing, caring.. chanting, breathing, and embracing.. Eventually not being with my darling daughters started to take a toll on my heart.. I found myself in Los Angeles at the Radha Govinda temple.. it was so fun to meet some more like minded souls, wake up at 4:30 am and pray chant, dance, serve food.. and take in the Santa Monica and Venice beach energy. Jai Uttal, Shakti Chai, raw chocolates, long boarding, yoga at Bhakti Yoga Shala, and Exhale were all highlights amidst the ocean walks, jappa and seva mission.... I was determined to serve my Srila Gurudev's templein some way, but also noticing how the inner time to reflect was also a blessing, and to simplify my life by living in a temple environment had me looking around and realizing a lot..
Upon hearing news of my Srila Gurudev being in Stage 4 of Cancer of the cholon, the tears rolled down, and a deep sense of longing to serve and nurture healing in our community and sangha developed deeper.. I have been feeling very contemplative during this time as thousands are flocking to visit him, delivering remedies, and going on Parikram in Vrindavan ( this s a pilgramage every year in the holy village in Vrindavan where Krishna was born and lived.. it is the most holy place to visit for me..and I have yet to go.. ) a longing developed, a longing to serve and to give up my attachments to selfish desires...
I left la and came to Ontario to be with my daughters in their new house that thier dad purchased.. it is a suburban town house, and it has been quite the culture shock, feeling so isolated and strange sense of peace.. nurturing my daughters, and being so greatful for this time. when not in Barrie visiting during the week, I go to Toronto on the weekend and cultivate sisterhood, kundalini and bhakti shakti with my dear darling freind who is from bali, and is a healer to say the least.. it is like i never left bali i often think to myself!! so after two weeks of being here and there and taking in the sites and accessing the nomadic opportunities, my heart called out for going home to BC... and my heart called out to go to India and serve my guru and sangha as well as study more.,... and my heart called out to go to the tree of life.. but my heart has really really been calling out to focus back on the Bali plan.. now i'm enwrapped in a business plan, service, education, food, and life in Bali.. i can hear the sound of the trees blowing, the farmers in the rice feilds, the birds, it just feels like home, safe and farmiliar. . and with amazing schools for my daughters Laksmi really wants to study music, dance, art, yoga and fun with food, and i see how beautiful our healing journey can be there in bali.. Revati wishes to stay with her dad for a few months and will come visit us later, she' s really enjoying being wtih her dad, and I embrace that, they have a strong bond and are very patient.. I am feeling rather blessed and fortunate we all love eachother so much and can allow space where it is necessary.. it will take a little time to get things set up so she can visit us in a few months.. :) I am working on a little trip to India for January.. if all goes smoothly. .. you know what they say.. man makes plans and god laughs..
one thing is clear right now.. as we are approaching 2012 and as things are shifting, my saturn is returning, the need to live more sustainably and devotionally is upon us very strong..
I realize i do not wish to live here in the west at this present time with my children, we have so much to learn from other cutlures, in how to live, how to not just survive, but surthrive, how to give back, through serving, learning, exploring. Ancient wisdom is available to us, and the potency of mantra and worship has changed my life,
I wish to cultivate this Bhakti Creeper, to continue my studdies in yoga , in India, really dive into those gifts My Gurudev has given me and to offer what it is that has inspred me so much..So many gifts from so many teachers have sprung into my life.. it can be almost overwhelming when you are enthusiastic to do so much in life.. but the balance is there when i remember what is truely important..
So here i set out this intention for a healing voyage, it is my vision to move to Bali with my daughter and build a healing space for devotees to come to., to have kirtan retreats, yoga sanctuary, space for women and children to express and grow together in harmony..
Through my time at Satyagraha Ashram, and visiting the Palenghi School and Green School, I am convinced this is a ripe place for my children to learn and grow...and it is now time to get off my mat and into the world and align my offerings..
Children inspire me every day, the more i spend time away from them, a part of me feels empty.. and the more i spend time with them i realize how much they teach me and how fortunate i am to share this path with them... and all the kids we meet along the way.. so here's to the never ending adventure and the eternal bliss within us all!
I'm so glad to be alive.. and to share it.. every day i am learning to let go anything, or any fear, holding me back form fully embracing divine love...
Upon hearing news of my Srila Gurudev being in Stage 4 of Cancer of the cholon, the tears rolled down, and a deep sense of longing to serve and nurture healing in our community and sangha developed deeper.. I have been feeling very contemplative during this time as thousands are flocking to visit him, delivering remedies, and going on Parikram in Vrindavan ( this s a pilgramage every year in the holy village in Vrindavan where Krishna was born and lived.. it is the most holy place to visit for me..and I have yet to go.. ) a longing developed, a longing to serve and to give up my attachments to selfish desires...
I left la and came to Ontario to be with my daughters in their new house that thier dad purchased.. it is a suburban town house, and it has been quite the culture shock, feeling so isolated and strange sense of peace.. nurturing my daughters, and being so greatful for this time. when not in Barrie visiting during the week, I go to Toronto on the weekend and cultivate sisterhood, kundalini and bhakti shakti with my dear darling freind who is from bali, and is a healer to say the least.. it is like i never left bali i often think to myself!! so after two weeks of being here and there and taking in the sites and accessing the nomadic opportunities, my heart called out for going home to BC... and my heart called out to go to India and serve my guru and sangha as well as study more.,... and my heart called out to go to the tree of life.. but my heart has really really been calling out to focus back on the Bali plan.. now i'm enwrapped in a business plan, service, education, food, and life in Bali.. i can hear the sound of the trees blowing, the farmers in the rice feilds, the birds, it just feels like home, safe and farmiliar. . and with amazing schools for my daughters Laksmi really wants to study music, dance, art, yoga and fun with food, and i see how beautiful our healing journey can be there in bali.. Revati wishes to stay with her dad for a few months and will come visit us later, she' s really enjoying being wtih her dad, and I embrace that, they have a strong bond and are very patient.. I am feeling rather blessed and fortunate we all love eachother so much and can allow space where it is necessary.. it will take a little time to get things set up so she can visit us in a few months.. :) I am working on a little trip to India for January.. if all goes smoothly. .. you know what they say.. man makes plans and god laughs..
one thing is clear right now.. as we are approaching 2012 and as things are shifting, my saturn is returning, the need to live more sustainably and devotionally is upon us very strong..
I realize i do not wish to live here in the west at this present time with my children, we have so much to learn from other cutlures, in how to live, how to not just survive, but surthrive, how to give back, through serving, learning, exploring. Ancient wisdom is available to us, and the potency of mantra and worship has changed my life,
I wish to cultivate this Bhakti Creeper, to continue my studdies in yoga , in India, really dive into those gifts My Gurudev has given me and to offer what it is that has inspred me so much..So many gifts from so many teachers have sprung into my life.. it can be almost overwhelming when you are enthusiastic to do so much in life.. but the balance is there when i remember what is truely important..
So here i set out this intention for a healing voyage, it is my vision to move to Bali with my daughter and build a healing space for devotees to come to., to have kirtan retreats, yoga sanctuary, space for women and children to express and grow together in harmony..
Through my time at Satyagraha Ashram, and visiting the Palenghi School and Green School, I am convinced this is a ripe place for my children to learn and grow...and it is now time to get off my mat and into the world and align my offerings..
Children inspire me every day, the more i spend time away from them, a part of me feels empty.. and the more i spend time with them i realize how much they teach me and how fortunate i am to share this path with them... and all the kids we meet along the way.. so here's to the never ending adventure and the eternal bliss within us all!
I'm so glad to be alive.. and to share it.. every day i am learning to let go anything, or any fear, holding me back form fully embracing divine love...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
living shakti
feeling the many blessings around me.. and inside..
went from victoria to nelson to bali to nelson to sunshiine coast to salt spring, and now landed back in victoria, radiating around the cafe bliss family and yoga shala sanctuary..
so greatful for every breath, every step, every opportunity to love and share in creation
the chanting of sacred mantras -the holy names- are keeping my heart centered, i take shelter in this rasa.. amidst the seeming chaos.. with breathe awareness, resonance and union ..
lots of recipies a brewing and classes to teach this summer!
with all that is happening in the world at this very moment, i see no other thing to do than to spread love, raise vibrations and heal .... staying positive through the storms and taking it all in as mercy
All Glories to the divine lotus feet emenating from Goloka Vrindavan and within
Monday, February 1, 2010
on the road
i did it.. i got all tasks accomplished thus far and now it is in gods hands
passport appy off, pick up wednesday and leave thursday at midninght! flying accross the world to another culture another land, a heavanly paradise!
playing with my darling godsisters and their daughters in vancouver .. so fun..
mysore practice at 6 am with adam http://thepracticeplace.ca for thenext three days.. going to soak up the inspiration as much as possible.. and radiate the inspiration to the mountains and beaches of indonesia's hindu capital
live food, kirtan, exstatic dancing and adventure awaits..
so greatful for this opportunity!
Friday, January 22, 2010
bali bound
i am one week and a half away to the highlight of my year.. even though its' just begun,
not only am i turnint 29 on the 29th, but i'm going to BALI to work and learn with a brother who has been doing the live food artistry since i was a teenager.. so i'm totally stoked, going to sit under an aloe vera plant and suck her juice, chant, dance, sing, get some sun that doesn't come in a bottle drop form.. and love love love it..
this winter has been exceptionally hard trying to stay raw.. i moved from a super supportive network of live food enthusiasts, and my yoga community, and my body and mind are telling me this is a challenging place right now for this spirit in this body..
not only am i going to engage in a learning and growing adventure, but we will be having some devotional focus, so itis like service to my beloved spiritual master.. i wished to go to india this year, but my laksmi deneros just didn't quite cut it.. and i don't want to go to india for three weeks, wouldn't be fair to my kids either because they really want to come..
anywho.. not there yet, but almost..
some of the most interesting monetary arrangments are under way for my arrival..
1. made a huge beautiful box of live food goodies dehydrated to 105 sprouted prior and totally satvic, no onions or garlic,.. mailing to a friend who is a godsister, balanisian woman who lives in Toronto!
2. sold my harmonium i just bought before coming here to nelson three months ago... it is an heirloom that belonged to a famous devotee maybe ifanyone actually reads my blog, which i'm not sure they do but thats' ook.. you may have heard of bhaudauk.. anyways, his daughter contacted me and is buying it, and she lives in the uk..
ok so that coversmy plane ticket..
now for the rest
4. ended up doing some telemarketing for a friend for a website about internships and travelling abroad.. not really telemarketing because we're just getting people to submint blog entries, but it's kind of neat to research about interning and travelling when that's kind of what i'm doing!
5. a little itty bitty bad loan for another couple hundered,
6. it is quite possible i may actually make a few dollars from the month of yoga i've been teaching part itme.. but unsure because i'm still paying off my insurance fees.. but at least i'm insured so you cant' sue me ( not that i thought you would)
7. someone from nelson town who moved to bali, who happened to talk to my friend who i'm staying with wants me to bring to bali some super greens, and is willing to pay me!!that's super cool
so it all comes down to this.. fly or bus to vancouver, then will i be able to get my passport expediated in 24 hrs, get my ticket that will mean going to seattle.. on a bus, stay in vancouver for three days and not spend any money, that will be the challenge, i may need to fast and cleanse hardcore for the next few days..because all the money i have is booked for my trip.. it's going to be a low budget eating wild eddibles trip, just what i need to clear my head of mundane sorrows and stress.. going to wake up at 4 am and do yoga, chanting, and then engage in the live foods seva!!
i still think it's a dream, pinch me..
no it's not a dream!
oh and did i mention i get three weeks off of my darling children who are beginng to drive me to kurmasana and pranayama for stress relief on a more regular basis!!!
praying for all the pieces to fall into place :)
jai sri radhe!
not only am i turnint 29 on the 29th, but i'm going to BALI to work and learn with a brother who has been doing the live food artistry since i was a teenager.. so i'm totally stoked, going to sit under an aloe vera plant and suck her juice, chant, dance, sing, get some sun that doesn't come in a bottle drop form.. and love love love it..
this winter has been exceptionally hard trying to stay raw.. i moved from a super supportive network of live food enthusiasts, and my yoga community, and my body and mind are telling me this is a challenging place right now for this spirit in this body..
not only am i going to engage in a learning and growing adventure, but we will be having some devotional focus, so itis like service to my beloved spiritual master.. i wished to go to india this year, but my laksmi deneros just didn't quite cut it.. and i don't want to go to india for three weeks, wouldn't be fair to my kids either because they really want to come..
anywho.. not there yet, but almost..
some of the most interesting monetary arrangments are under way for my arrival..
1. made a huge beautiful box of live food goodies dehydrated to 105 sprouted prior and totally satvic, no onions or garlic,.. mailing to a friend who is a godsister, balanisian woman who lives in Toronto!
2. sold my harmonium i just bought before coming here to nelson three months ago... it is an heirloom that belonged to a famous devotee maybe ifanyone actually reads my blog, which i'm not sure they do but thats' ook.. you may have heard of bhaudauk.. anyways, his daughter contacted me and is buying it, and she lives in the uk..
ok so that coversmy plane ticket..
now for the rest
4. ended up doing some telemarketing for a friend for a website about internships and travelling abroad.. not really telemarketing because we're just getting people to submint blog entries, but it's kind of neat to research about interning and travelling when that's kind of what i'm doing!
5. a little itty bitty bad loan for another couple hundered,
6. it is quite possible i may actually make a few dollars from the month of yoga i've been teaching part itme.. but unsure because i'm still paying off my insurance fees.. but at least i'm insured so you cant' sue me ( not that i thought you would)
7. someone from nelson town who moved to bali, who happened to talk to my friend who i'm staying with wants me to bring to bali some super greens, and is willing to pay me!!that's super cool
so it all comes down to this.. fly or bus to vancouver, then will i be able to get my passport expediated in 24 hrs, get my ticket that will mean going to seattle.. on a bus, stay in vancouver for three days and not spend any money, that will be the challenge, i may need to fast and cleanse hardcore for the next few days..because all the money i have is booked for my trip.. it's going to be a low budget eating wild eddibles trip, just what i need to clear my head of mundane sorrows and stress.. going to wake up at 4 am and do yoga, chanting, and then engage in the live foods seva!!
i still think it's a dream, pinch me..
no it's not a dream!
oh and did i mention i get three weeks off of my darling children who are beginng to drive me to kurmasana and pranayama for stress relief on a more regular basis!!!
praying for all the pieces to fall into place :)
jai sri radhe!
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