my head is pounding, doing some detoxing from reishi mushroom tea.. i honestly didn't know what i was getting myself into, got to go easy on this stuff.. apparently it helps flag off candida..yippee, but it is also flagging off my yoga practice, 

managed to have a lovely raw day today, with some chanting, snow, and am now enjoying reflections on the year.. what a year.. what a rollarcoaster for this momma..i won't go into detail, but lets seee... 

broke up with my partner of 8 years, 

went raw vegan, fell off and on several times, feelilng better on raw foods than any other foods, with the occasional bowl of cooked fluffy quinoa..

had three amazing visitors of angelic presence from my srila gurudev visit me and have darshan wtih me and my family.. namely Syamarani Didi, Manjari Dasi, and Raghuleka Dasi oh and a bunch more but those were the highlights that sparked my spiritual fire

graduated from two yoga teacher trainings, one was intense physically, spiritually, and mentally,  the other emotionally intense..  . both life changing and transforming.. 

my daughters and i moved to the mountains, which i now am almost regretting because i left behind so many beautiful people i love and miss dearly as well as epicenters of meditation and live foods.... it was a rash decision in the mode of passion, so i am living the time out.. till april 30th and then who knows

my daughters are finally going to a school i feel totally in line with.. the nelson Waldorf school has fullfilled my educational intentions for my children socially and artistically

i'm planning to go to bali and work at an Exstatic dance Bhakti Yoga and Live food retreat... if i can get my pennies lined up, and who knows if all goes well maybe i'll just move there..

oh and one more thing this year, i not only fell into deep deep heartbreak, and still feel the effects of that, but i  fell in love once.. he lives in spain, so it is kind of like a super duper long distance relationship.. that maybe non realistic, though our phone calls and emails are going well, not making any progress on my spanish, but his english is improving..  and werd is he's coming back in the spring... who knows, could be a dream

so the plans for my business are kind of on hold due to cleansing, detoxification from candida, and teaching yoga.. as well as raising two kids on my own.. 

taking it moment by moment, trying to not get overwhelmed by the challenges that await me every day, it is a hard winter for me, I'm not going to lie and say everything is bliss, i mean i know I'm eternally full of bliss and truth, they are full of bliss, but i left a really good situation to come here - my cafe bliss family- and it is proving to be a slow and steady up hill in these mountains, my kids are very emotionally distraught with their father gone, we have had many a battle emotionally, I sure am happy they have made friends here -more than in victoria, but my friend count has gone down, and my sense of belonging and meaning is feeling a little tired, my lack of concentration doesn't help, partly due to the candida and partly due to the many things i'm trying to do at once.. 

so i pray that 2010 will be prosperous and bountiful, full of opportunity to grow, love, serve, and create the life i want to live

one thing that sticks out for sure, is that i am in separation from my beloved spiritual master and my beloved godsisters and brothers, trying to find a place where we can be together, chant, dance, create, and blissfully co-exist.. i hope it's not just inmy mind's eye.. but a tangible reality

nomadic ways move my soul, i realize i move every year.. that it is my deep connection to seva and spirit seeking adventure..  now i am settling my darling daughters into waldorf school  here in nelson, what a delightful place, i wish i could go!  and listening to raw mom summit and scheming on how to get to bali asap.. like krishna stealing pots of butter and blaming it on the monkeys.. i am trying to manifest so many things via bhagavan's eternal abundance..

this year has been a journey of healing and looking inside.. sometimes we don't like what we see, and project it onto others.. i realize that it is all a reflection, a mirror of our own consciousness..

so i am trying to teach as much yoga this month as possible in this little sleepy snowy party town.. I've got my sights set on high association and learning, fully embracing the offerings of gurudev.. he is offering me so much i just have to make the surrender and effort happennn... 

so it will be a yogathon of love and devotion this month to help manifest my dreams and find some inner peace and bliss to share with the world.. looking forward to what is in store for me and the girls.. adventure awaits, the snow falls, the dehydrator is humming full of bounty..

the fruit basket is full in the dead of winter, on  one of the darkest nights, and the veggies in the fridge are calling us to juice and drink and honor..   

the super foods are screaming out for joy and the hills are allive with sound of rawsome bhajans..

this holy day season we are not celebrating by giving gifts of consumerism, but the gift of yoga and chanting and remembering the lovely blessings gurudev has given us all to remember...

i will be teaching a free yoga class on christmas day at the shanti studio in support of the local womans shelter, and i couldn't be happier, my daughter is delighted to join me, laksmi andanda the goddess of giving and abundance.. that is her nature, maybe we'll go tobogganing on her birthday two days later.. that would be so lovely of a time to share.. 

many blessings for a sacred solstice and a happy holy days.. may we all remember the spirit of giving back to the world we share

bali and india bound

i am blessed with an amazing opportunity to serve sri guru and my sadhana..

i have been feeling for a while now that i need a breather from canada and momma life to focus and go inside my studies more.. to really just devote myself to healing and my raw food chef learning extraVEGANza.. so i asked my friend madhava and he invited me to come to bali and help him work on some raw projects, also there is a raw yoga community / teaching center which is like first class and i am totally stoked to be planning a trip to bali in February!!! oh my gosh i'm elated actually, the pictures are incredible, and to have an opportunity to serve my god-brother as he works on setting up a raw ayurvedic chef school would be divine.. i also like that india is so close, i will be working with a  multi level marketing travel company too to make some extra funds as well as teaching yoga, studying yoga (about to take a kids teacher training workshop in vancouver next week) and i'm going to pump out some raw goodies for the local co-op soon soon soon.. i am day dreaming constantly of going, but also have to be present and love my darling daughters and care fro them, as it has been a lot of challenges lately in the home front, attitudes are flaring up and i see how all the changes have affected the little darling kiddies, they miss their dad too, so it will be nice that he is going to come here and spend time with them while i go on my yogi mission, who knows maybe bali is where doors will open to live one day, there are a lot of good opportunities to be with devotees and work with raw foods and yoga scene, just have to stay sincere...

give it to me raw community saves my day

so i've been blogging here for a week now, i know it will take time, iknow not everyone is going to run and comment, and i know no one may be reading, but it sure feels good to spread your thoughts on the keyboard.. 

i started a blog on my give it to me raw account and was amazed that within like two minutes i sparked a converstion and intellectual dialogue about candida busting and raw food living that proved to rock the waves.. 45 comments and some really good advice and direction..

i'm going to pick up the whole body ecology diet book at the co-op as soon as i can get my hands on a few extra bucks.. it is a good book i read it almost front to back, and i crashed out flat after feeling i didn't have enough support, then i shared it with my raw buddies and they all came pouring out answers and warm fuzzies.. 

so here' s a link in case anyone is reading this blog and wants to check er out.. 

http://www.giveittomeraw.com/profiles/blogs/candida-and-raw-food-living?id=1407416%3ABlogPost%3A1167335&page=5#comments

i have been wasting away a lot of hours on line lately and am going to retreat into cleansing yogi cave of wonders only to pop out for some one to give it to me raw.. because that is what i find faith in.. 

namaste

http://www.greenforlife.com/musicvideo.htm

this video is soooo cute and funny, my kids keep asking me to watch it over and over and over again..

so i stayed up really late last night, after cholon cleansing i seem to have some energy and desire to study and research cleansing more in depth.. anywho i was reasearching about travellin in india and eating raw.. most of the information is really skeptical becasue of the pollution and toxins and bad bacteria living inside the produce which were fed by poor water conditions.. 

but however, bombay is apparently one of the best places to go to eat raw, and i have read that gabriel cousins says there are sadhus in the himilayas that are eating raw and have for long times.. something to consider if i go to mysore in february.. i will go for the coconuts like crazy for sure.. 

got up early today refreshed, amidst my late night, drank water, and did my primary series practice,  then followed it with some E3Live for breakfast after pranayama, laksmi joined in the yoga practice with me.. primary series  is so invigorating but i also am becoming more and more of my strengths and weaknesses.. trying to find a balance on the left and right so i read the patanjali yoga sutras and light on life by iyengar.. which always puts things into perspective, i opened up the sutras to a text talking about the importance of repetition.. i firmly believe this, even though i do the same practice every day it is never the same, and always expanding, grounding, and uplifting to have that regulation, just like chanting, just like living foods lifestyle.. once you find something that works for you it works!!

i then ventured off to shanti yoga studio, the much talked about yoga studio in town, which didn't quite appeal to me at first when i took a class there months ago while visiting.. mostly because i teach and practice a very specific style of yoga and it isn't even a style, it is traditional.. anyways.. i spoke to the owner for almost an hour and a half, about yoga, life, teaching, seva, running a studio, different aspects, styles etc.. it was kind of intimidating, she's really into anasura yoga, which is interesting but not my path.. and she pointed out that her teachers are all veterans.. and that new teachers are not that high on the list.. she was kind enough though to offer me to teach a mock class next week sometime and she would assess my ability to teach,, ahhh so nervous now.. someone who's been a yoga teacher/practitioner for 25 years.. yikes.. intimidating, but hey you got rolll with it and have faith in yourself so i agreed.. also i was pretty bumbed out that she can't have kids yoga in her studio because of her windows..??? which was really strange.. so i'm going to have to find another space to teach in.. which is good in the long run because i can focus on ashtanga and primary series more, and also kids.. but that could take a lot of time.. so i'm going to keep on going with the raw food busines. and just make as much food as possible, buy as many supplies as possible and go into the raw!

that could take time too, things move really slow in the kootneys...

then i came home, had some pre-soaked bentonite clay which is doing majikal things to my body right now.. and  had a salad, and oh gosh i succumed to eating a raw mango bliss ball.. oh gosh, dats, and mango and peaches are a no no on the candida cleanse, i feel drunk from alcohol now, but maybe it's the clay.. not sure.. got to get regulated that's all iknow... candida is a hard thing to balance, especially when you help in a restaurant that is loaded with cooked this and that and sweets, so the raw sweet i made for them to try out, i brough some home for my kiddies, but then oops i had some.. 

like micheal franti says, its' never too late to start your day over..

There is a yogathon happening about an hour and a half out of town at the Yasodhara ashram on sunday, i don't have a car, so i will ask all my friends with cars if they want to go.. but i probably won't be able to make it.. it looks like an  amazing day.. it's a fundraiser for kids in uganda to get an eco-birthing center (where hiv infection rate from mom to child is like really scarry high) and then they are building a farm and a  school, and helping kids do yoga, which is great..

here's the awesome organization if you want to read more : 

the event is called Off teh Matt and Into the World..

http://offthematintotheworld.org 

blessings are all around us.. 

my daughters came home for lunch today and said no to pizza after reading some green for life inspiring stories from Victoria Boutenko and her experience as a kid eating raw food and being in public school, she has a really good story about how she told the kids at pizza day why she wasn't eating what they were, the fact that the wheat is made of gmo flour where workers had to wear gas masks, the cheese is like seven years old, and the tomatoes are genetically modified and died red with spray and picked green, that was enough for my kids to say mom can we come home for lunch, and i told them i didn't have money for it, so it worked out.. they  had some cooked food from the krishna restaurant as a treat.. and raw bliss balls.. with salad, they're coming around .. oh gosh i wish i had it in me to home-school, or a million bucks to take them away from public school and into a better alternative, but we just have to deal with what god gave us right now and make the best of it.. which it could be a lot worse, we could be trying to build a school in uganda and have aids.. 

in the raw

day three of candida busting and balancing

oh it was a good day yesterday, somuch more energy now that i'm past the first day or two.. did primary series with ease, E3Live has kept me rolling along, and the flax crackers with chia.. oohhh yummm.. and i think i over ate coocnut butter, i must have had a quarter cup that stuff is so good, now i'm going to cut back on oils because there is a lot of evidence that high oil intake feeds these sugar bugs too, thank god for stevia.. 

i had the most interesting conversation in the health food store yesterday, so many of us were talking about candida, i think it's a post halloween topic too,

so today i breathe in light and let go of cravings for sugar, it is really chili out, and i think brisk walks in the cold air are going to help me through this.. i was referring to the whole body ecology book and it is a very interesting book i recommend it for anyone interested in balancing the flora and ecology in their temple.. it says that to balance out candida can actually take up to a year!!! I'm going to go for three  months and see how I do.. in the mean time making lots of raw sweets to sell, how bizarre!

I'm not decided on weather i should go to india, and or spain, or take this course.. it looks amazing, i think i will take the course no matter what other choice i make, because i want to become more trained and educated in working with kids and facilitating yoga with kids and  families.. 

http://www.childrensyoga.com/Workshops/ShaktasSchedule.htm

i hope today will bring joy and peace 

day one of raw candida cleanse

woke up a little light today, must have been that amazing enema experience last night, i felt so light, rejuvenated, and ready to salute the sunshine with bliss..

so today was inspiring, i actually suppressed all cravings for sweets.. I had E3Live for breakfast, and E3Live for snack,  a tall glass of  greener grasses shortly after, -organic high grade organic wheat grass, barley grass, and alfalfa grass... super good stuff.. - it all fueled me to ride my bike in the brisk sunshine and head off to the local Kootney Co-op to talk to the hiring manager. Turns out they all love raw food, and don't have a supplier for their deli! HELLO RAW FOOD GODDESS SUPPLIER HERE I COME!! she was very enthusiastic about my offerings, and especially the potential to do raw pies, cakes and cookies, funny i'm not eating any sweets at the moment, and little nuts> But maybe that is where my inspirational outlet of creativity can pour into.. not eating them, but making them!

next was off to Jaganath's kitchen where i help out in the restaurant once a week, it is a nice atmosphere, krishna conscious family, in need of a little help and tlc, they serve almost all cooked food that i don't desire to eat or serve, but it is nice that they are offering it to krishna and trying to buy organic where possible. Also the woman in charge likes it if i make some raw sweets for the sweet display, which i am not that enthusiastic about all the mouth watering sweet cakes, cookies, and ladhus, which i know are not the highest food i'd like to be offering.. so it was fun to make raw mango coconut bliss balls and see them fly off the plate, everyone loved them.. because raw food is so tasty people just adore the delectables.. even if they don't 'like' raw food, or understand the life changing benefits to a live food lifestyle..

so there i was making raw sweets and not able to eat them, that was my first test.. then i went home and had the nicest yummiest fennel salad with lemon juice and tomato and avocado..

took the girls to town and we went back to the jaganaths restaurant, because they just love to eat there, big treat for them.. and then i sat there drinking water,, and off we were to the sauna and pool! oh the sauna is a great agent for cleansing too.. very complementary, may have to do the sauna more often..

and upon returning home my tummy grumbled and i drank some herbal tea, and made a delicious sprouted sunflower ginger pate and spread it all over nori sheets and made some yummy nori wraps, one of my favorite things.. take a nori sheet some nice salad, any veggies really, kale works, sprouts work, avocado, tomato cucumber, i like radishes in mine, if you want to get real fancy throw in some cayenne pepper... and for desert.. ah yes there has to be some sort of desert.. aloe vera juice and i just couldn't help but take a little coconut butter, by the spoonful, this is proving to be my craving quencher! 

and now i feel amazing, another 100% raw day.. 

the highlight was watching my kids moan and groan for more raw coconut butter, they also loved the raw bliss balls, they're coming around slowly, it's hard to get them off of some of their favorite comfort foods like subji and dhal.. but i think they're pretty stellar kids.. they just love my flax crackers too, i can't get them to stop eating them! so we made more tonight, and i threw in some psyllium fruit leather.. more blogging about our yummy lunches tomorrow..!