I love my mother

I used to say i hate my mother, today i wake up and love her, i love her more than i ever imagined, it is with gratitude and respect that i am here, that i live, that i breathe, that i share, that i aspire, that i heal, that i empower, that i learn how to love her...

she was 16 when she birthed me, my child hood was not easy, i am still a child in many ways, rebirthing again this year as i dissolved a lot of old patterns and ran away from paradigms that were not serving my call to love deeper. Nothing could make me more happy than to know today while i feel so much sepperation from my mother and my children as the holidays are encroaching she is with my darling daughters loving them up and nourishing their souls with motherly love in the ways she knows how.

I share so much often forgetting how to recieve, or value my time. Today i met with a woman who is going to go on a training in India with a teacher I wish i was going to train with, and it is my gift to know that my sisters are nourishing eachother and supporting one another on their journey, I made comitments and promisses to support projects i'm a part of now in Bali, and until I finish these i cannot go anywhere.

I hear the sound of drums on my computer to Devi Ma, Durga Ma, Kali Ma Laksmi Ma, and remember all the years in Hare Krsna ashram life the gurus told me to not worship the demi gods, but now nothing seems more right thatn to honor the divine feminine in all the ways possible, giving to women through yoga, through love devotion, freeing all these gifts inside i have and serving, and my heart is pounding inside i want to go to india and study Vidya Tantra, sing, serve and study more yoga, but i know i have things i must finish and focus on before i am able to journey there, I want to bring my daughters with me too.. so i will work hard here on tasks at hand and then go home to canada, heal my heart, dissolve and release unrealistic expectations, and respect this land and the people of Bali, for they have much to teach me.

I see the repression so rampant in society, and also the divine honor.. it is a paradox...

i'm learning to be in the now. learning how to flow with what is, and learning how to value my time, cleanse, detox, release fear, and embrace what is, love it fully, looking back i see so many self imposed regimes i've adopted and not been able to comit to, and now i comit to loving myself and serving my sisters...

so deeply inspired to commune and gather in sacred sisterhood and dissolve the falsity of my ego and rise up above the ashes above the control men have had over me and love more fully...