managed to have a lovely raw day today, with some chanting, snow, and am now enjoying reflections on the year.. what a year.. what a rollarcoaster for this momma..i won't go into detail, but lets seee...
broke up with my partner of 8 years,
went raw vegan, fell off and on several times, feelilng better on raw foods than any other foods, with the occasional bowl of cooked fluffy quinoa..
had three amazing visitors of angelic presence from my srila gurudev visit me and have darshan wtih me and my family.. namely Syamarani Didi, Manjari Dasi, and Raghuleka Dasi oh and a bunch more but those were the highlights that sparked my spiritual fire
graduated from two yoga teacher trainings, one was intense physically, spiritually, and mentally, the other emotionally intense.. . both life changing and transforming..
my daughters and i moved to the mountains, which i now am almost regretting because i left behind so many beautiful people i love and miss dearly as well as epicenters of meditation and live foods.... it was a rash decision in the mode of passion, so i am living the time out.. till april 30th and then who knows
my daughters are finally going to a school i feel totally in line with.. the nelson Waldorf school has fullfilled my educational intentions for my children socially and artistically
i'm planning to go to bali and work at an Exstatic dance Bhakti Yoga and Live food retreat... if i can get my pennies lined up, and who knows if all goes well maybe i'll just move there..
oh and one more thing this year, i not only fell into deep deep heartbreak, and still feel the effects of that, but i fell in love once.. he lives in spain, so it is kind of like a super duper long distance relationship.. that maybe non realistic, though our phone calls and emails are going well, not making any progress on my spanish, but his english is improving.. and werd is he's coming back in the spring... who knows, could be a dream
so the plans for my business are kind of on hold due to cleansing, detoxification from candida, and teaching yoga.. as well as raising two kids on my own..
taking it moment by moment, trying to not get overwhelmed by the challenges that await me every day, it is a hard winter for me, I'm not going to lie and say everything is bliss, i mean i know I'm eternally full of bliss and truth, they are full of bliss, but i left a really good situation to come here - my cafe bliss family- and it is proving to be a slow and steady up hill in these mountains, my kids are very emotionally distraught with their father gone, we have had many a battle emotionally, I sure am happy they have made friends here -more than in victoria, but my friend count has gone down, and my sense of belonging and meaning is feeling a little tired, my lack of concentration doesn't help, partly due to the candida and partly due to the many things i'm trying to do at once..
so i pray that 2010 will be prosperous and bountiful, full of opportunity to grow, love, serve, and create the life i want to live
one thing that sticks out for sure, is that i am in separation from my beloved spiritual master and my beloved godsisters and brothers, trying to find a place where we can be together, chant, dance, create, and blissfully co-exist.. i hope it's not just inmy mind's eye.. but a tangible reality